I have experienced this before in the Jewish world, our quickness to criticize. I am going to try to find the good in it by saying that we are born with the ability to criticize ourselves, which is how the trait is supposed to be used, but in this end of days we use it on others.
And so it goes, that in nearly any situation you find yourself, you are criticized if you are unhappy with that situation. What's happening here is that this trait of criticism blends pathologically with another trait of being ideological. That latter trait is also supposed to be used for the good as we try to live idealistic lives. Many people in the world go through life without goals, certainly without goals of self-improvement. At best their goal is for their local team to win the World Series. I'm talking about serious goals. They might to some extent want to be half decent people but the true commitment isn't there.
Jews are built with a critical eye and with idealism that are supposed to be used for self-improvement. But in this end of days, we use those traits poorly, turn them outward, and become critical of others when they don't yield to our shallow ideals.
So the Chassidic kid who really needs to be a Litvach is criticized. Same with the reverse case. Or the kid that really should follow Modern Orthodoxy. Or the lady living in the city that could solve many problems by moving to the country. Rather than help her move to the country we criticize her and make her feel that there's something wrong with her middos or her commitment or her toughness or whatever. It's so much easier to condemn than to help.
This all creates many ugly encounters.
So when you come to Eretz Israel you put yourself in a special type of pathological situation. You are surrounded by ideologues, particularly when dealing with olim. And given the lousy state of Hebrew instruction in this country, that's likely the main or even the only person you will deal with. These are people who believe that every last Jew should live in Eretz Yisrael right now. Not after Moshiach, but now, no matter their financial, emotional, spiritual, familial situation. It's like the guys who believe everybody should be in kollel, no matter what. They are fanatics. And fanatics destroy lives.
Does it matter than the great leaders of Jewry didn't view EY that way. R' Joseph Soloveitchik said we should live where we can do the most good. This means that EY is not necessarily that place. Tell his so called followers in EY that. Evidently, they didn't get the memo, many of them.
I have a rule, which is that I don't discuss - or try not to discuss- my aliyah decisions with anyone who believes like a fanatic that all Jews need to live in Israel, no matter what the circumstance. This means that I really can't discuss my situation with anyone over here, because you could tell them anything, you could tell them you are allergic to Mid-Eastern air, that it sends you into convulsions, and they'll not only tell you that you must stay but that your wanting to leave is due to a failure in your character. The convulsions are caused by your yetzer hara.
I was talking to a South African doctor recently - big mistake right there but he coaxed me into the conversation by seeming very gentle and understanding at first - who wanted to suggest that my struggles with Israel are due to being too American, whatever that means. I suppose it means that I am spoiled, which would be a ridiculous claim if he knew me. The very fact that I came here with zero family financial support and a tiny amount of savings should tell you that I'm far from spoiled, or that I came to the doctor's appoint by bus as I don't have a car. But why would he wait till getting to know me before criticizing? Answer - too much work. So much easier and more fun to criticize.
Now he's a doctor. He works 5 minutes from home. Owns a nice car, maybe two. Likely lives in a house. Certainly, enjoys all the cavod that doctors enjoy. Does interesting work. Now who is the spoiled one here?
This sort of hypocrisy is typical of olim. Generally speaking Anglo olim come from privileged backgrounds - the British and South Africans seem wealthier than the Americans. Almost every home that I have been to for Shabbos has been in a pretty fancy house - for Israel - or a duplex apartment where the owner is 30 and goes to kollel. In other words, they are rich kids. And then there was the dentist's family who lived in a huge and brand new apartment. Sometimes you'll hear these hypocritical and delusional lectures from retirees who are living on plush pensions. And sometimes you'll get it from aliyah rabbis who live off the tuition dollars of American students. In other words they are all living off of American and European money, lecturing you about your idealism even though you are not in the same position as they.
And as the rich can be more delusional than anyone, they see themselves as noble idealists - all at somebody else's expense of course. Just ask them for advice about how to ride the bus. They don't know because they all own cars. They know NOTHING about the bus. That tells you a lot.
They know nothing about the bus and won't make a phone call to find somebody who does know because as you will find that wonderful help that you are supposed to get here from all the idealistic people is token. They'll give you 2 minutes of their time when it's convenient, if they don't have to stop what they are doing to give it.
And pretty much all of these people will give you speeches about how you have to rise to the challenge and be positive. These are the platitudes that are passed around here like cheap coins. People who barely have experienced a challenge in their lives are lecturing you about rising to the occasion. It's pretty comical when it isn't infuriating.
So in the end, you have to ignore all the shallow, rote criticisms and think for yourself. Is this the right place to be or not? And you have to believe Rabbi Soloveitchik and Rabbi Miller and Rabbi Feinstein when they tell you that living in Israel is not an imperative and that you should only come if it makes sense. And this means that it does not necessarily make sense. You have to use your brain to figure it out. The answer depends on many factors in your life, many factors that the shallow, corrupt, and hypocritical people around you will never, ever consider and take the time to learn about before telling you what to do with your life.
And so it goes, that in nearly any situation you find yourself, you are criticized if you are unhappy with that situation. What's happening here is that this trait of criticism blends pathologically with another trait of being ideological. That latter trait is also supposed to be used for the good as we try to live idealistic lives. Many people in the world go through life without goals, certainly without goals of self-improvement. At best their goal is for their local team to win the World Series. I'm talking about serious goals. They might to some extent want to be half decent people but the true commitment isn't there.
Jews are built with a critical eye and with idealism that are supposed to be used for self-improvement. But in this end of days, we use those traits poorly, turn them outward, and become critical of others when they don't yield to our shallow ideals.
So the Chassidic kid who really needs to be a Litvach is criticized. Same with the reverse case. Or the kid that really should follow Modern Orthodoxy. Or the lady living in the city that could solve many problems by moving to the country. Rather than help her move to the country we criticize her and make her feel that there's something wrong with her middos or her commitment or her toughness or whatever. It's so much easier to condemn than to help.
This all creates many ugly encounters.
So when you come to Eretz Israel you put yourself in a special type of pathological situation. You are surrounded by ideologues, particularly when dealing with olim. And given the lousy state of Hebrew instruction in this country, that's likely the main or even the only person you will deal with. These are people who believe that every last Jew should live in Eretz Yisrael right now. Not after Moshiach, but now, no matter their financial, emotional, spiritual, familial situation. It's like the guys who believe everybody should be in kollel, no matter what. They are fanatics. And fanatics destroy lives.
Does it matter than the great leaders of Jewry didn't view EY that way. R' Joseph Soloveitchik said we should live where we can do the most good. This means that EY is not necessarily that place. Tell his so called followers in EY that. Evidently, they didn't get the memo, many of them.
I have a rule, which is that I don't discuss - or try not to discuss- my aliyah decisions with anyone who believes like a fanatic that all Jews need to live in Israel, no matter what the circumstance. This means that I really can't discuss my situation with anyone over here, because you could tell them anything, you could tell them you are allergic to Mid-Eastern air, that it sends you into convulsions, and they'll not only tell you that you must stay but that your wanting to leave is due to a failure in your character. The convulsions are caused by your yetzer hara.
I was talking to a South African doctor recently - big mistake right there but he coaxed me into the conversation by seeming very gentle and understanding at first - who wanted to suggest that my struggles with Israel are due to being too American, whatever that means. I suppose it means that I am spoiled, which would be a ridiculous claim if he knew me. The very fact that I came here with zero family financial support and a tiny amount of savings should tell you that I'm far from spoiled, or that I came to the doctor's appoint by bus as I don't have a car. But why would he wait till getting to know me before criticizing? Answer - too much work. So much easier and more fun to criticize.
Now he's a doctor. He works 5 minutes from home. Owns a nice car, maybe two. Likely lives in a house. Certainly, enjoys all the cavod that doctors enjoy. Does interesting work. Now who is the spoiled one here?
This sort of hypocrisy is typical of olim. Generally speaking Anglo olim come from privileged backgrounds - the British and South Africans seem wealthier than the Americans. Almost every home that I have been to for Shabbos has been in a pretty fancy house - for Israel - or a duplex apartment where the owner is 30 and goes to kollel. In other words, they are rich kids. And then there was the dentist's family who lived in a huge and brand new apartment. Sometimes you'll hear these hypocritical and delusional lectures from retirees who are living on plush pensions. And sometimes you'll get it from aliyah rabbis who live off the tuition dollars of American students. In other words they are all living off of American and European money, lecturing you about your idealism even though you are not in the same position as they.
And as the rich can be more delusional than anyone, they see themselves as noble idealists - all at somebody else's expense of course. Just ask them for advice about how to ride the bus. They don't know because they all own cars. They know NOTHING about the bus. That tells you a lot.
They know nothing about the bus and won't make a phone call to find somebody who does know because as you will find that wonderful help that you are supposed to get here from all the idealistic people is token. They'll give you 2 minutes of their time when it's convenient, if they don't have to stop what they are doing to give it.
And pretty much all of these people will give you speeches about how you have to rise to the challenge and be positive. These are the platitudes that are passed around here like cheap coins. People who barely have experienced a challenge in their lives are lecturing you about rising to the occasion. It's pretty comical when it isn't infuriating.
So in the end, you have to ignore all the shallow, rote criticisms and think for yourself. Is this the right place to be or not? And you have to believe Rabbi Soloveitchik and Rabbi Miller and Rabbi Feinstein when they tell you that living in Israel is not an imperative and that you should only come if it makes sense. And this means that it does not necessarily make sense. You have to use your brain to figure it out. The answer depends on many factors in your life, many factors that the shallow, corrupt, and hypocritical people around you will never, ever consider and take the time to learn about before telling you what to do with your life.
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